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1955 in Ängelholm, Skåne, Sweden.
Esoterics Everything that you can fly or sail. Animals and nature.
Partner with Jorunn
I could probably say that my growth on the plains in Skåne some 50 years ago was fairly normal, with deacent parents who had both feet on the ground. As far as I can remember there was nothing in my chilhood that would imply any spiritual interest, even if the first book I borrowed from the library, at the age of six, was about UFO:s and that I very early tried to explain to my parents that "Jesus was an astronaut who really withholded two individuals". All spiritual matters was something I had placed in the religion with its dogmatic views. I have probably had a more scientific approach to reality with its, although seeming, possibility to explain how things really are.
After finishing my studies at the Technological University I moved to Linköping in 1981 and took a job as an engineer. I have lived here since then, doing all kinds of things. Always curiously searching for something new and always with a technical, practical view.
It wasn´t until 1989 I came in contact with "spiritual" matters. It all started when some friends asked me if I had ever left my body. Left my body? That´s not possible! How can you do that? Even if the subject had raised my interest I let it go for the moment. A couple of weeks later I spontaniously got my first out of body experience. After a few additional weeks a very loving lightbeing came and talked to me.
What was this? Had I gone crazy? Or had I missed something important? At that time I didn´t understand the meanings of those phenomenons, and maybe I still don´t, but as a researching engineer I wanted to "survey" and understand, so here started a time of intensive studies of "spiritual" litterature, that I have kept on doing since then. In the beginning I read almost anything that came in my way, but now I´m fully focused on the esoteric litterature, which has given me a system in line with my experiencies, and at the same time providing a reasonable explanation to what´s important in life. In the beginning I also seeked actively in associations and groups like the spiritualists without finding what I was looking for. A couple of close friends who have had simular experiencies have been a great support to me.
All the time the strange experiencies in and out of the body with visits on higher planes and in different worlds and states have continued. There has also occasionally been more meetings with different lightbeings and other higher beings. Several times I have been transported to "ships" where others, with great interest, have been investigating and experimenting with my energy system, with the purpose to "develop" me. A large part of my teaching now takes place during sleepeing dreams and in special rooms in higher worlds, or by direct contact during meditation.
Among other things I have recently been "taught" how the so called time works, where one can dislocate, prolong and shorten our relative time frame. Probably completely impossible for us to understand in our low dimension, but very fascinating.
I have understood that I very rarely have been given any experiencies for my own pleasure. They have almost always had a "higher" purpose, even if a couple of pieces of music seem to be composed for me.
By this work of beings and energies from higher worlds during a long time my energy system have gradually opened up, at which some latent abilities have been activated and some intuition has started to appear.
This opening of the energy system or raising kundalini, hasn´t only been positive, but during long periods meant great agony, before I learned to live with and handle the new energies. The physical body has periodically taken damage, at which I have been almost completely beaten.
There is no doubt these, in some cases shaking experiencies meant that I have changed as a person. From being a rather egocentric type, caring little for others, I have started asking myself what I can give to others instead, both in terms of life wisdom, caring and esoteric knowlegde. And I believe that I have found one of my purposes with life here, spreading esoteric knowlegde as good as I can, in the form of lectures, study circles, texts and even help others handling their energy systems by for example a raising kundalini. Or it´s enough just to be at hand listening to people with simular experiencies and questions.
To summarize, you could say that my "spiritual awakening" has made me reflect over what an absolutely thrilling place we live in, with all its worlds and dimensions and with its more or less complex inhabitants as actors on different levels, forming a gigantic unity that we, if we are patient, can expect to take part in.
1956 in Backaryd, Blekinge, Sweden
Teacher, master of science in physics/mathematics, lecturer
Soaring (Swedish champion 5 times.) Sailing Mountainwalking Esoterics
Member of: Jönköpings Soaring Club Domsands Yacht Society Mensa Sweden
As a child I was quite normal in one way, but not in another. My first memories goes back to before 1,5 years of age, and I learned to count, read, and write at three. This may not be absolutely normal, but apart from that I was a regular boy, maybe relatively active and curious.
My first memories of something "supernatural" goes back to the early teens. Doors silently opened up behind my back although they were properly closed. "People" turned up in my bedroom after going to bed at night, and suddenly dissapeared again. This really scared a poor little 13-year old boy, but after a while I got used to the strange state I seemed to enter sometimes after going to bed. The unpleasant figures also dissapeared eventually, but the strange state came back to me from time to time.
Many years later I realized this was my first introduction to the astral levels. At that time I pushed all such thoughts away, and tried to live a normal life. I studied to become a teacher and got a job in Huskvarna.
In one way I have been a searcher all my life, even if that part of me often ended up in the background when I was younger. This changed all together in 1987. I started to read "metaphysical litterature" and a little more than one year later, in feb 1989, I got my first out of body experiencies.
At that time I realized the ability to leave the body had been with me since my early teens, without knowing it. I also noticed that the reoccurring dream, who had been following me for many years, now dissapeared. In this dream I walked from one room to another in a big house searching for something, without finding it and without knowing what I was searching for. Now I didn´t need this dream any more. I had found what I was looking for.
For a number of years I studied a lot of spiritual litterature, but something within kept pushing me on. It wasn´t until I found books like the esoterics of Blavatsky, Bailey and Laurency that I could feel I had really found something of great value. Here I was presented a system that corresponded to my mind and my experiencies. Here I couldn´t find any objections.
For a large part of the 1990-ies and up till today a kind of raising kundalini energy has opened up chakras and energy channels in my body. This process is still ongoing, and can sometimes be quite marked and even painful. At the same time my obe:s have deepened. In the beginning I got a number of evidence, that clearly showed me I actually left my body, and that it was no hallucinations of any kind. I saw places and events outside of my body, that I could later check and verify, until there was absolutely no doubt anymore. Don´t think I didn´t question the whole thing to begin with.
After this I got lifted up to higher levels. I have been allowed to visit different astral planes, and I have learned that the lower ones should be avoided. The discarnate enteties living there are confused and sometimes even hostile. On higher levels it´s much more pleasant, and can also be stunningly beautiful. What I have seen of mental planes are different rooms with working people, sometimes with electronic equipment. The inhabitants on these levels have presented great clarity and wisdom.
Nowdays I live one day at a time. Sometimes I get educational dreams, out of body experiencies, claivoyance or clairaudience, but only when I need to know something, almost never for my own pleasure. It can sometimes be difficult to handle the "normal everyday issues" in life, but I know we are born into this world to do that, and I try the best I can.
You can call me Peter Lintz. This is a pseudonym because I, for many reasons, prefare to be anonymous. Here below follows a presentation of me. To present oneself includes, in normal cases, that you tell a little about yourself, for example, what you’ve done and what you’re interested in. But because this is an esoteric homepage, I also have chosen to go a little deeper. The presentation below contains, for that reason, not only information about what I’ve done in my life, but also information about what has happened, and still happens, in my spiritual and emotional life.
I was born in November 1961 in the town of Karlskrona in Sweden. My childhood probably passed by in a normal way. No unusual things happened in the everyday life, so to say. But with my inner life, my soul, everything was different. This is something I’ve come to understand afterwards. I had serious problems to live an adjustable life in the world, and I looked upon the world as very scary. I was frightened by many things which, in time, changed me in a negative way. I became a scared little boy that almost never talked to anybody about my problems.
One thing that frightened me was that people could be mean. My first thought about that was that it wasn’t true. Nobody could be like that, and they probably understood better. I guessed that it was some kind of game, and in reality they weren’t that evil. But in time I understood that a human being could be as wicked as he gave sight of, and that frightened me very much. I was exceptionally frightened by war and all cruelty that was related to it. I couldn’t find any security in this world.
Another thing that frightened me was diseases. You could become ill, get all kind of nasty things that there were no cure for: deforming diseases, paralysing diseases, cancer, parasites and so on. The list was long, and I was very scared. I felt agony just by looking at ill people. I also felt the same about wounded and deformed people. I felt very bad about seeing things like that.
In view of what’s mentioned above, I really didn’t turn out to be a tough guy. As a child I rather turned out to be vulnerable and lonely. I didn’t feel that I could get enough comfort and support from my parents or any other grown up. People didn’t know anything, and they seemed to be contented with that. But the lack of knowledge frightened me.
Among children in my own age, there often existed behaviour of being tough and hard. I couldn’t get along with that. For example, I didn’t understand the human behaviour of “paying back” if anyone beat me. I had problems to protect myself in any way, which troubled my parents very much, and they thought that there was something wrong with me. They didn’t understand why I couldn’t be - in their eyes - normal. Why couldn’t I pay back, stand up for myself and be a little tough? But I didn’t understand how to be like that, or why I should behave like that. I always felt very bad about unfriendly situations, and I wanted to escape from everything.
What’s mentioned above are only some examples of the difficulties I had growing up in this world. Of course I had more difficulties, in many areas of human life. But I had also subjects of rejoicing. We shouldn’t forget about those. I was a lover of beauty, and already as a child I loved beautiful women very much and very intense. They became as Goddesses for me. Because they were so beautiful on the outside I was convinced that they also were in possession of a divine and loving goodness. By time I however got the experience that outer beauty not always represented inner beauty, and that made me confused. In this world could even the one who were ugly on the outside, be good on the inside. I didn’t understand how that was possible. But by time I have assimilated a more realistic picture of human being, and now I look in particular deeper than the skin of a person.
Another great subject of rejoicing for me was the nature. I loved to stroll around in endless forests, play, climb, run, and so on. In the forests I was a real wildman. My desire for adventure and discovering was enormous. My family always spent the summer seasons at our summerhouse at the coast of Blekinge, in southern Sweden. Here I had access to the forests and the sea. I was very happy at this place.
As a child I was very eager to learn. I loved to get knowledge, especially in different areas of science. The area that fascinatend me most of all, was astronomy. I could sit down with my books about the Universe all evening, and then go out in the dark just to study the star spangled sky at night. The Universe was so vast, so fantastic and incomprehensible. Even though I didn’t understand it, I was happy with its great mystery. It touched something deep within me.
My attraction for imagination was great, and I loved cartoons with superheroes: Superman, Tarzan, The Phantom, and so on. I could disappear into these fantasy worlds for long times. My parents were sometimes worried because I digged too deep into my worlds of imagination. I also loved science fiction and films about adventures. I loved everything that was an adventure. My models for perfection were muscular good and heroic men. In my imagination I wanted to become one of those when I became an adult.
Very early I also started to love music. My love for music has persisted through the years and has always been a great source of joy for me.
As a child I pondered about the mysteries of existence, but no one could give me a satisfactory answer. My father was a spiritualist and from him I very early assimilated the existential safety that life is eternal; what we call death is only a transformation, a journey into another world. And so we reincarnate again.
In spite of my father’s wisdom, I was affected by anxiety in periods as a child. The answers I got weren’t enough. What was life? What was the meaning of everything? Why did we live? I sometimes got hard attacks of agony because I didn’t know or understand. From time to time this resulted in obsessions. No adult seemed to understand me, and no one could give me the answers. I had to live with that.
Then the time came to go to nursery school. What I remember most of all about that was that I felt ridiculous about many things we did there. I didn’t get on well. I also discovered some kind of falseness, both among adult people and among people of my own age. I couldn’t accept it. I often withdrew, wanted to be alone. I became aggressive against adult people or people of my own age. I was considered to be a problem child.
The first years in the comprehensive school passed without any real problems. I was a quiet and kind little boy, but sometimes a little bit rowdy. In the third year problems occurred. I got a teacher I didn’t like. The consequence of this was that I became disobedient and aggressive. That behaviour, together with my already noticed inaccessibility, resulted in the decision that I was sent to a psychiatric clinic for children. I passed a two day investigation, which just ended up in the conclusion that there was nothing wrong with me. The only problem was that I was angry at quite a lot of people. This was solved with pills. In this way a child’s problems was solved at that time. Maybe it’s still done in that way.
When I was nine years old my father got cancer. He died just before I became ten. This increased my agony about illness and death to an even higher level. Now illness and death had crawled as close to me as possible. The tears I never cried as a child (it is said that boys shouldn’t cry), I later in life has cried many times at therapeutic courses and sessions.
When I became a teenager the mates of my own age started to have an interest in women and sex. But I experienced the sexuality I saw around me as very rough. I couldn’t find any pleasure in it. We watched pornographic movies and looked in pornographic papers, but I felt awful about it. I experienced it as vapid and soul denying. It made me feel only emptiness and disgust.
The result of this clash between my inner feelings and the sexuality I saw, was that I thought there was something really wrong with me, also in the realms of sex. What I didn’t understand then was that ordinary rough sexuality didn’t get along with my soul. The experiences I have made later in my life, has tought me that I need a sexuality more in contact with the soul, more deep (or high), more loving, more in contact with what I call spiritual beauty. There has been a long journey to come to this understanding, because I in my youth blamed myself to be wrong in all these many ways. Through this journey I have also learned that the sexuality I came in touch with by that pornography, gave me a wrong view of sexuality in general. It was agreeable for a small part of reality, but far from all (thanks for that). There are several more individuals than me, that wish to live a life closer to the soul, the realms where we discover a deeper contact with each other.
Another behaviour that couldn’t satisfy me was this ordinary thing of, so to say, having a serious relationship with a woman. Every time I tried to relate a little deeper with a woman, I felt suppressed, like in a prison. I also didn’t have any desire to, in the future, have children or a family. (Even now, as an adult, I have no desire for that). Naturally I thought, when I was a young man, that there was something seriously wrong with me. But later in life, I have come to understand that my point of “no desire for a family life” probably is normal. My circumstances can be found and explained as something completely normal on the evolutionary path for the soul through life (the lives)
Because of what’s mentioned above, my self esteem was very bad when I was young. It has required many years to build it up again.
The longest relationship I’ve had with a woman lasted for three years, and I think that’s a good achievment for someone like me. All my other relationships has lasted between two and four months. But I didn’t invent this behaviour of matching pairs two by two, and then restrict the love for the rest of the world. That doesn’t comfort me. Instead I think there is a whole world to love and be together with. I should be in my right place, and the lovingly freedom, or friendship, is what makes me happy.
As a young man I had conflicts with drugs and alcohol. I used drugs as most of my friends. But as I grew a little older I became more and more sensitive to alcohol. Drinking caused bad feelings. When I was 25 it came to an end, and I quit absorbing alcohol in large quantities. Nowadays I use it only in very small quantities sometimes.
I went for sports all my time as a young man. I started with wrestling when I was 12 years old. This continued until I was 20. Then I started boxing and continued until I was 24. After that I trained jiu jitsu until I was 26. Then it came to a natural end for me of fighting sports. During all this time I also trained my physical strength and condition, which I have continued to do since then. I experience a sort of emotional satisfaction when I’m in good physical shape (this training of fighting sports may have been some kind of revenge because I had difficulties to defend myself as a little boy)
View-finding, employments, interests
I was in for spiritual view-finding all my time as a teenager and as a young adult. I’m still a spiritual view-finder, but these days on a completely different level. During my journey I have found key after key which have opened door after door to my inner self. Over time, this has given me more understanding of myself, which also have developed my self esteem.
When I was 19 years old I found Martinus Cosmology (A description of the eternal life written by the Danish author Martinus), and I studied this with diligence during ten years of time. When I was 24 years old I again came in contact with spiritualism, which I had lost contact with after the age of 11 when my father died. Under the management of spiritualism I went on for course after course during a period of many years, and I met mediums, healers, and many others, in my opinion interesting people. I also read many books, tried to acquire knowledge both from eastern and western teachings. During this time I also, for the first time, came in contact with esoteric books. But at that time I didn’t understand much of the esoteric teachings. It seemed too complicated for me.
Around the age of 30 I came in contact with some other type of courses. This was therapeutic courses in self development. At these courses you looked deep into yourself, to discover and understand why you had become the one you had become, and how you could become the one you really are (would like to be). These courses were a turning point in my life. They helped me to find the way that leads me in the right direction, which means inwards, towards the core of life that exists in the center of my being. After that, the rest of my journey has only been a way of strengthening what I found in connection to these courses. At 2005 I came in contact with the esoteric teachings again, but then in the form of a study circle, which was what I needed to be able to, more easily, put myself into it.
In the eighties I was a forest worker. In the late eighties I had some years when I was very much abroad. I was at kibbutz in Israel and at national parks in the USA, worked as a volunteer, and travelled around. During these summers I was home in Sweden and worked at a course estate owned by a Swedish spiritualistic association. These years were also some kind of view finding for me.
The year after I had finished my abroad journeys I moved to Västerås (a town about 500 kilometres to the North of my hometown Karlskrona), and started to work with old and handicapped people (the nineties). I worked with this for four years. After that I moved to Örebro (a town about 100 kilometres to the West from Västerås) and started a job with mentally disarded and autistic people, which I worked with for three years. After that work I studied at komvux (a Swedish school for grown up people) for two years. Then I moved to another town and educated myself towards a new profession (the new century)
Because I’ve made a choice to remain anonymous, I can’t say where I live or exactly what kind of profession I have. But I can reveal as much as to say that my job is about human being, healthcare and development. Nowadays I can say that my job is my interest. I experience that I have found a path in my life that feels meaningful for me. Besides my work I am also interested in writing. I like to write prose and poetry and I have occupied myself with this a little now and then, as a hobby, since the late eighties. I am also a lover of nature, and among other natural beauties, I love the Swedish mountain scenery. I like to exercise, just to keep myself in fair shape. For the rest I am probably as most people are; like to meet good friends over a cup of coffee, like to see a good movie, and so on.
Yet I’m different in many areas of life. One of those I can mention here. I seldom like to go to party places, disco, and simular places (what we in Sweden call “to go out”). In an environment like that I often get on so badly that I suffer. I notice how people poison themselves (drugs), consume junk food, act according to memorised behaviour or, so to say, appear as false personalities. Besides that the volume of the music is often so high that you can’t have a conversation. I can’t understand the pleasure of an environment like that. People say that’s to have a party. For me that’s not a party, it’s decadence and destruction. I feel bad to see circumstances like that. Party is for me healthy food, loving communication, and things that heal the soul.
What I believe is unique with me is that I have been so far down at the bottom of bad self esteem. During the later part of my period as a teenager, my esteem was so bad that I had difficulties to do simple things like: go to the grocery store, go to the bank, the post office, and so on. Nor could I have a conversation with a woman without getting embarrassed (especially if she was beautiful). Because of this, I have, during the years (until today 2009 and onward) made it my lifestyle to raise myself up again. The longer I keep on going, the more I notice that I have left to heal. But the journey is happy and interesting. I’m looking for my own identity, the one that I can only find myself. Others may be able to help me on my way, but only I can make the connection.
My life journey has given me invaluable insights. Now I know that I was never wrong, like I thought when I was young. The wrong thing was that I listened too much to the opinions from the world around me, and too little to my own inner truth. It misled me and gave me a feeling of maladjustment. My journey back has tought me too look at existence in another way than most people do. I also understand that I often need to keep quiet about what I see, wait until people are mature enough to be open and receptive. Of course, this gives a feeling of loneliness. I live in a reality that most people don’t even believe in. But patience is the virtue of love, and with that comes the wisdom that stupidity has its own time, and wisdom has its own.
Already as a child I had a lot of "strange" experiences that neither I nor any adults understood. I got the normal answers, that I dreamt or had such a vivid imagination I couldn´t separate reality from fantasy. This made me terrified, since I thought I was ill or going crazy. I got afraid of my experiences, resulting in them subsiding during the years, and completely stop at the age of 8-10. My fear made me close myself.
In my twenties the experiences started coming back and now I was more able to handle them. Since then, I´ve had numerous of experiences of many kinds, and it would be impossible to describe even a small part of them here. Most of my experiences are still incomprehensible. Some of them are so hard to understand, that I can´t even find words to describe them.
As I have started to study the esoterics, it feels as an important help to understand more of my experiences, and find out who I really am. I have to know what I am supposed to do, to be of some use, and for that I have to know who I am and what makes me tick. To lovingly be able to serve life, is possibly my goal, as far as I´ve understood today.
The experiences I try to formulate in this forum, are in the most possible way only descriptions and not interpretations. They are described the best way I know how. I have consciously tried to avoid evaluating them. My wish is to keep everything as open and objective as possible. The reader can, by own wish, try to evaluate, and from an esoteric point of view explain them.
Inside myself I have a special kind of memories, and they seem to get more and more clear the older I become, and the more I find out about myself. Some of these memories are put under appearance from the experiences I’ve described. But there are many more, divided, fragmentary, pictures of recollections, that I can’t find words to describe. I don’t even know if they really are memories, or some kind of consciousness about places that exist somewhere. Maybe they are only fantasies (But what is fantasy then?) The future may bring me the answer.
What I can say about these “memories” is that they describe happy and fantastic places, places with a greater view of the eternal life panorama. These places are so happy that it’s impossible to imagine them, for the one who never has experienced them. They have to be experienced, otherwise not understandable. The most sunny days of our earthly life is, in comparison, like a shadow land without knowledge or eyesight. This gives a perspective about life, but also hope. If these recollections are truth, then we dwell in some kind of secondary existence here. The primary existence is so much greater.
There are also a number of places or worlds which I seem to return to, time by time in dreams or out of body experiences. These places are of another kind than the recollections mentioned above, and some of them are put under appearance by my described experiences. These places can be everything from dark and a little scary, to bright and happy. I usually recognize both places, and some people I meet there. These people feels like old friends and the places like well known worlds. But one can never know what’s real.
P L 090421
1943 in Ängelholm
Esoterics Everything in nature Childen and grandchildren Litterature Art
I grew up in a beautiful place in the northwestern landscape of Skåne, Sweden. There started the interest of nature that has followed throughout my life.
As a child I came into contact with the so called Biblical history, by a very dear older relative. I could leaf through colorful books, as these stories started my imagination and opened my sense for what's outside of the ordinary life.
Many thoughts on how life works and everything fits together came to me. A fascination over the stars and eternity.
Recently I have come into contact with esoteric litterature which has given me answers to some of the questions I had, and also given me new ones.
From very early on I have had dreams with clear symbols. I got help to interpret them, and have ever since seen my dreams as exciting information from my subconscious, and as I believe from the cosmos.
As a grown up, I've had awake dreams in a relaxed state, with clear messages and advice in life.
I've been visited by lightbeings who have given guiding in times of crisis. The guidance have been in form of strong warnings or by showing paths to walk in life. If I have followed these, new possibilities have then opened up.
From my thirties I have often ended up in the paralyzing state, and at a few occations I've got a shorter obe.
The last 12-15 years I have recieved advice in life through automatic writing, often pointing at the importance to see behind illusions and what's actually real. These messages supply a strong feeling that reality lies beyond what we can see.
I often recieve series of pictures with different themes, quickly passing by. This mostly takes place in a relaxed state just before I go to sleep.
Eva Larsson 2008 10 03
11:th august 1960 in Norrköping
Human Resource Manager with phycological approach. Broad alternativ medicine knowledge.
People, family, friends, life issues, light, air, and nature.
God is allmighty. God is good. Why then is there so much evil in the world? Can there really be a God when there is so much evil in the world?
It's as if many seekers and religous professionals take it for granted that we can't answer these questions, instead of going inward and feeling their own answers.
Imagine this phenomenon in some other area, as baking a cake or photosynthesis. If we want to find out something about baking a cake or photosynthesis today, we obviously search for answers in books or on the net, we ask friends, family or professionals. We ask those who have the knowledge and can provide a logical and clear explanation.
We don't ask those who are guessing an answer, give us fragmental and incoherent answers, or answer to something else than our question. Incredibly, most people in our enlightened society are content without any clear answers in belief questions. I guess many believe there are no answers to be found. Most stay as atheists or "believers".
To my view, the answers are there. At least, by the esoterics you get a coherent system to try and answer your questions from. Not quite as accessible as you might wish. But the answers aren't hidden in any way. For anyone with the energy to absorb the knowledge in the large system we call Esoterics, we find the answers to questions we ask all the time:
Is there a God?
What is God?
Is God good?
Is God allmighty?
Where is God?
If God is, why is there evil?
If God is, why can't we see God?
What is a man?
What happens when we die?
Is there life after death?
Have we lived before?
Can we contact dead relatives? How do we do that?
What is the other side?
Is there a hell?
Is life unfair?
Is there life on other planets? and so on...
The explanations are there. The question is, if we are ready to absorb the knowledge? Do we really want the answers? Do we have the energy to listen?
Ask yourself this. If you were God, how would you present yourself and the world to mankind so they would understand that you are God, embrace you in a good way and not be terrified? Didn't God try when he sent his own "son" Jesus to Earth, to explain the message of love to us? We all know what happened.
Esoteric information isn't as dramatically appealing as the descriptions of the life of Jesus. It demands more from us. But through the Esoterics, higher worlds try to give us a timeadapted, detailed information about the context we live in. Everything is served in a, mostly understandable, but rather extensive written material. It's up to us what we do with it. Do we want to go on living in uncertainty or do we want to "know"?
During a major life crisis in the beginning of the 21:th century, I felt compelled to find answers to my questions: How could it be this way? How much was I responsible for the events? Is there something like fate? Are there things or events that we can't influence, that just have to happen, and so on.
The questions were many and the answers few. I thought that I had good qualifications to get through this situation. Both plenty of, and adequate education, plus a substancial life experience. I had been through a lot and heard other people talk about their lives. Yet I felt a pressing need to know more. Get more answers. Answers who could be scrutinized.
To make a long story short, I searched most there is to find within religion and New Age for a few years. I already knew regular psychology. The answers I looked for were nowhere. I am critical, scientifically scolared, and these systems weren't explaining, or logically coherent enough.
I almost gave up hope on finding any answers, when I had the "luck" to listen to Anders Robertsson at a rare occation, when he talked about his experiences and his view of the world at Spiran - The spiritual society in Linköping.
What he said went right into my heart, or brain, or both. Instantly I felt that this met my expectations. It seemed to be potential to find the kind of answers I was looking for.
I wanted to find out more, and I obviously wasn't alone, because we became a lovely group of 5-10 people who still meet under the leadership of Anders and Mats. To begin with we got a solid review of the Esoteric basics. Just that, to get the basics in an easy and coherent way, is something I believe is important to have more people managing reading Esoteric litterature. There really is some to choose between!
With this basic knowledge it's easier to choose what you are interested in, and put it into a context.
I don't read as much litterature now as I did in the beginning. Now I think more instead. By the Esoterics you can understand yourself and the world around you in a whole new way. You get a totally different perspective on most events in life, for example when you realize that all the misery in the world isn't "unfair" but only a result of a spiritual healing process and development of the mind. Of course, this shouldn't stop us from counteract the miseries, but to always do our best in all situations. Obviously we all benefit from that.
As I have mentioned, during the first 40 years of my life I was passively resisting most spiritual matters. I thought "it must be something one needs to protect oneself when things get hard", like a teddybear. And "it would be better if they found a more realitybased way of handling their crisis".
Now I realize, this does not have to be the case at all. Sure, it can be like that, but maybe just as often it's not.
Now I also understand, that it's just in the crisis most of us have the ability to open up spiritually. That's when we, by necessity, realize we can benefit by throwing our old ideas in the garbage, and learn something new. As long as we don't see any bigger problems we find no reason to change, and we go on in the same old tracks.
Now I can see that everything that happens to us is planned. Nothing happens by coincidence. Everything is a part of our individual life plan. In most life plans there are a number of different paths to choose between. In that manner you can understand what we call "the free will". In most cases we can, to a large degree, control what we want our lifes to look like, what will happen, how to react etc.
It's important to remember, there are things beyond our control. Certain events are firmly placed in our life plans in order for us to learn.
In my back mirror I can see how I got prepared for the crisis I mentioned earlier.
The year before there started to appear "very thin screens or movies in the air" with material/information that I didn't understand at the time. Later on I realized that what I had seen gave me a background to the crisis I was going through. Thanks to this, I easier processed and got through my difficulties.
By different channels, I have got the information that many exciting, spiritual challenges await me in the future.
During the time I get guidance in my dreams. Both to myself and to others. "Chance" led me to a programme in dream interpretation. Just as most, I earlier thought that dreams are no more than processing events in life. With knowledge in symbols and dream interpretation a whole new world opens up, with both good advice and pure prophecies.
This source is open to everyone. The more interest you show the more information gets availiable.
This applies even to the most confirmed scientist!